


Same Love

by tomarkexists



Category: Blink-182
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 14:59:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1020061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomarkexists/pseuds/tomarkexists
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you are brought to this world, you are a clean canvas, eager to be painted on.</p><p>You will be innocent, unaware of the joy and sadness this world can bring you.</p><p>Everything seems normal for a while. You grow up in a normal family, taught about God and religion, go to school. </p><p>Then you realised you are not normal.</p><p>You don’t fit into this stereotype they are forcing down your throat with.</p><p>Everything is fucked.</p><p>Your whole life is fucked.</p><p>Then everything changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Same Love

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by that Macklemore & Ryan Lewis song, writing this fic made me cry (or the music video made me cry)

When you are brought to this world, you are a clean canvas, eager to be painted on.

You will be innocent, unaware of the joy and sadness this world can bring you.

Everything seems normal for a while. You grow up in a normal family, taught about God and religion, go to school. 

Then you realised you are not normal.

You don’t fit into this stereotype they are forcing down your throat with.

Everything is fucked.

Your whole life is fucked.

Then everything changes.

_“Mommy, I need to tell you something,” I ran into her room, tears rushing down my face, guilt ridden._

_“What is it Thomas?” her voice was so sweet and kind as she hugged me, trying to calm me down. “Why are you crying baby?”_

_She tried to wipe the tears off my face but they continued to pour._

_“I … I am not normal mommy,” I stuttered to her in between breaths._

_“What are you talking about? You are perfectly normal.”_

_“I think … I think … I like boys.”_

_The world stopped moving. I could see the dust in the air froze in mid-air. My mother’s expression was unreadable._

_“That’s nonsense Thomas,” I could tell that she was trying to control her emotions. “You’re just in the third grade.”_

_“But mommy, I don’t like the girls in my class. They –  ”_

_“Thomas, you love girls. That is the end. Now go to your room and pray to the Lord to forgive you for thinking such things.”_

_“But mommy I – ”_

_“Go!” her face was tinted red, about to explode at any minute._

_I ran to my room, begging for forgiveness._

_“Please make me normal again, please make me normal,” my pleas were strewn with chocked tears._

_My prayers were never heard._

If you are different, the society shuns you.

They will never understand that this is not a decision.

Even though they try to paint on your clean canvas, trying to make you normal, you cannot help but be who you really are.

You cannot hide.

It is not a choice.

It cannot be cured.

No matter how many times you go to the church on Sundays and hope that what is wrong with you will disappear one day, it never will.

And there’s nothing you can do about it.

_A group of people gathered over this guy’s house, just chilling._

_I could hear music playing at the background. We were on the floor, drinking and smoking._

_“Hey, let’s play spin the bottle!” some dude I didn’t know shouted suddenly._

_I could feel the panic rising in my body, my whole being tensing up._

_If I were to leave, they will all get suspicious._

_If I were to stay, I will be uncomfortable, almost lying to myself._

_An empty beer bottle was placed on the carpet and this pretty brunette spun the bottle around. It went round and round until it finally stopped, facing …_

_“Tom!” wild roars erupted from the mouths of my friends, cheering me on to kiss the girl._

_“Hi, my name is Jen,” she introduced herself while crawling seductively towards me._

_“Errr … hi Jen,” I gulped nervously. I do not want to do this._

_I couldn’t._

_“Fuck, sorry guys but I gotta go now,” I quickly stood up and started walking out of the room._

_There were jeers coming from all over the room. I distinctly heard a guy shouting out “gay” at me. Jen looked disappointed as I practically ran away from her, tears threatening to fall out of my face._

_Why can’t I be fucking normal for one day?_

_I grabbed my skateboard and started skating home, hoping mom won’t nag on me again._

_I slipped into the house and ran straight to my room, avoiding everyone. I shut my door behind me and crumbled down to the floor, a few tears has managed to escape._

_“Thomas? Open the door!” rapid knocks accompanied her shouts. I wiped the wetness out off my face and braced myself._

_“What do you want mom?” I was not in the mood for bullshit._

_“So this is how you treat your mother? Tell me Thomas, where have you been? Is that alcohol on your breath?” her voice getting louder with each passing question._

_“Shut up mom!” I slammed the door and locked it, hoping she leaves me alone for one night. I could still hear her shouts, but I tried to block it._

_I sat on my bed, thinking of everything that happened today._

_Fuck, I need a distraction._

_I got my phone out and texted Scott. He will know if there is something going on tonight, especially since it is a Sunday. He quickly texted me back that there was a huge party two streets away and he will be waiting for me. I grabbed my board again and got out through my window, not wanting to face mom. The air was slightly chilly as I skated through the night, eventually ending up at a crowded house with loud music blasting through the neighbourhood._

_I entered the house. It was packed and busy. I looked around until I finally found Scott at a corner, sucking on a girl’s face. I tapped his shoulder and he turned to look at me._

_“Hey Tom! Make yourself at home,” he went back to sucking the girl’s face again._

_I looked through the crowd and noticed a huge group of people in the living room, dancing aimlessly to the terrible music playing._

_This is what I need._

_I joined them, getting my blood pumping. Sweat seeped through my clothes, rubbing my bodies against these strangers I never met._

_Suddenly, the music changed to a slower pace. A love song. Couples started to huddle to each other, dancing as duos now instead of together. I stood there alone, completely out of place as I observed the people around me moving their bodies together. Female and male. Just like how it should be._

_I walked out of the room, desperate to get out of there. I ended in a bathroom, facing a huge mirror. I looked at myself._

_I don’t fit here._

_It’s time for me to leave._

_I walked out of the bathroom, crossed the living room of moving bodies and was about to grab my skateboard when I stood still in my tracks._

_Piercing blue eyes met mine from across the room._

_I could not move, nor breathe._

_He was making his way towards me, a big smile on his face._

_“Hi, my name is Mark.”_

People don’t really think about what they say nowadays.

You go on the Internet and people drop the ‘g’ word daily.

_“Man, that’s gay.”_

Everyone is so used to it by now.

Yet, they don’t accept the people who are in fact, gay.

Calling them ‘faggots’, while hiding behind their keyboards.

The word used to mean happier things, now it is just full of hate.

The same hate that causes wars.

Along the way, people made rules to prevent these wars.

Human rights, they call it.

But they refuse to give these people the rights they deserved.

Isn’t it the same fucking thing?

Why can’t we love anybody we want?

Underneath everything, it’s all the same love.

_It was another day in the office._

_But something was different today._

_Something that is making me sick to the stomach just thinking about it._

_I am going to tell them._

_Finally._

_I looked at my blank computer screen, waiting for it to be 5 pm already._

_I could no longer concentrate on my work, so I decided to call him._

_“Hello Tom,” his usual optimism when greeting me fell short this time._

_He is nervous too._

_“Hey Mark. How’s work?” small mindless questions that he could see straight through._

_“Work’s work … How are you feeling?” his voice went lower, softer, much gentler._

_“About tonight?”_

_“Yeah …”_

_“Nervous …” well, that was an understatement._

_“Tom, everything’s gonna be fine.”_

_“No it’s not. They will hate me Mark. You don’t know how it was like growing up in that house. Religion is everything to my mom and dad,” I was starting to panic. Maybe telling them over dinner wasn’t such a good idea, after all._

_“Tom, they love you. They will accept you,” Mark is always calm, always cool headed, unlike me. Maybe that’s why we are perfect for each other._

_“Fuck Mark, they won’t!” I shouted through the phone. A stunned silence followed and I regretted shouting at him. “Sorry Marky … I just wish things were different.”_

_“Tom, you can’t change who you are. Even if you tried. Even if you wanted to,” he whispered back to me and I could tell he was holding back tears._

_“I know Mark …” another silence._

_“Tom, I see you soon okay. I love you.”_

_“I love you more.”_

_We ended the call and I looked at my computer screen. 4.59 pm._

_Time for me to introduce my parents to the man I love._

There are people who support the unwanted.

But they are more comfortable to remain voiceless.

To not fight this fight.

Too afraid of ‘what if’s’ and consequences. 

Too oppressed.

This is not freedom.

We are not equal.

_The car ride was silent until we pulled into the front of my parent’s house._

_We looked at each other, exchanging tense looks._

_“Tom, whatever happens tonight, I still love you. Don’t you dare forget that.”_

_“I know,” I leaned in and kiss him on his lips, finding comfort at his touch._

_We rang the doorbell and Mark gave my hands a quick squeeze before moving slightly further from me, trying not to be suspicious. My mother welcomed us in, giving me a warm embrace. She looked happy to see me, but she gave a questioning look at Mark._

_“Hi mom. This is Mark,” they both shook hands._

_“Nice to meet you Mark. Come join us at the dining table,” she gestured to a room which we all entered. Food was already placed on the table and my dad was sitting at one end of the table. As soon as he saw me, he rose from his seat to pull me into a hug._

_"Hi dad, this is my friend Mark," I pointed at Mark, who was standing there awkwardly._

_My dad gave him a weird look, like as if he was expecting someone else other than him. He quickly shook Mark’s hands and sat down. I was starting to get worried again until I saw Mark mouthing the word “chill”. I smiled slightly at him and we both sat down at the table._

_"So Mark, before we eat, the family says a prayer. Would you like to join us?" my mother asked._

_"Of course," he gave her one of his winning smile and I could tell that she likes him. We joined our hands together and my mother lead the prayer, as she always does._

_“_ _God, we thank you for this food. For rest and home and all things good. For wind and rain and sun above. But most of all for those we love. Amen.”_

_"Amen," all of us repeated and then breaking the chain of hands._

_We began eating in silence for a few minutes, Mark giving me subtle glances from across me._

_“So, how do you two know each other?” dad asked without looking up from his plate._

_“That’s what I want to talk to you both about,” I gulped slowly. This is it. This is the moment._

_“We are … we are dating.”_

_My mom dropped her fork on the table._

_“Don’t play with me Thomas,” he still hasn’t look up._

_“Dad, I’m not. We have been dating ever since I was 17.”_

_“That’s eight years ago?” my mother exclaimed in disbelief._

_I stared intently at my dad, wishing he says something._

_"Are you telling me that my son is a faggot?" I cringed at his choice of words. Mark was clenching his jaw, his whole body tensed up._

_"Dad, I love him."_

_He abruptly stood up and left the table._

_Left us in this silence._

You know those kids who commits suicide because they cannot be who they really are?

I understand their pain.

I used to live through it.

I thought I will never survive.

Until the law changed, giving us a glimmer of hope.

We were finally given our rights.

But it will never solve everything.

It was a good start though.

A damn, good bloody start.

_We were on a beach. The sun was slowly sinking into the horizon. Mark told me that he have something important to show me. Our fingers were entwined with each other, a perfect fit._

_“So, what’s this important thing you have been dying to show me?”_

_We faced each other and he started to look nervous._

_“Tom, I have been thinking about this for the past few years and I finally decided that I cannot wait any longer,” he got onto one knee and pulled something out off his pocket._

_Holy crap, this is happening._

_“Ever since we met at that lame ass party, I knew you were the one. I knew I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know things have been fucked up for us, but I love you. And I know you love me. So please, will you do the honour of marrying me and making me the happiest man on this beach?” he opened the small box, revealing a simple silver band._

_Memories began playing in my head._

_Running around with my friends with our bikes._

_Playing football with my dad on our front lawn._

_Going to church every Sundays._

_That party where I met the man who will alter my life._

_Telling my parents about him._

_Cuddling on a hammock with him._

_Jumping into a waterfall with him._

_Being called ‘faggots’ while walking in the city with him._

_Listening to old vinyl records with him._

_And this._

_Being proposed to._

_“Fuck Mark, yes!” his smile was huge as he slipped the ring around my finger, another perfect fit. He stood up and gave me a tight hug, breathing into my neck as we refused to let go of each other._

_“You are perfect,” I looked into his bright blue eyes as they shimmered with pure ecstasy. “I love you Mark. I love you so fucking much.”_

_This is perfect._

Being completely in love with someone consumes your soul.

You breathe, live, love through this person.

You will do anything for this person.

They will frighten you sometimes, being so capable of breaking you into pieces.

But you must learn to let them in.

You must learn to be vulnerable and expose every single mark on your once clean canvas.

Because when you do, they will help you mend these marks.

They will help restore you, bringing life into your dead soul.

They will love you.

And that is the most fucking beautiful feeling ever.

_Standing around the church, waiting for everybody to sit down._

_The atmosphere was light and joyful, close family and friends laughing at each other._

_I looked at my feet, fidgeting slightly._

_It is going to start now._

_The music started playing softly, filling up the area. Mark’s niece has started walking down the aisle, dropping flowers as she goes._

_He was waiting for me at the end of the aisle, looking breathtaking in the simple suit he picked out._

_His dark hair styled perfectly to a point, his beautiful tan complements his stunning blue eyes, his posture was tall and confident._

_It is my cue to walk now._

_I looked beside me and see my mother, ready to walk down the aisle with me._

_She is going to give me away today._

_I am lucky enough to even have her in the same room right now, yet alone having her supporting me and Mark._

_It took some time for her to get used to it, time that we have plenty of._

_However, dad did not feel the same way._

_I tried to push the thought of my father and concentrated on walking. I see my friends as I walked past them, giving me huge encouraging smiles. We finally reached Mark._

_"I love you Thomas," my mother gave me a peck on her cheek as she walked away to the side, wiping off the tear that has spilled from her eyes._

_I faced Mark._

_My lover, my friend, my soulmate._

_We held hands and he lightly caressed my palm with his thumb._

_The wedding officiant recite the question of intent and I nearly wanted to scream at her that I have been ready for this marriage for eight years. Then it was time for the both of us to say our vows._

_"When I first saw you, my whole world was turned upside down. I was gravitated towards you. I remember the exact conversation we had until this very day. Every time I am with you, I feel at peace. You complete me Tom. And I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to you that I will always be there for you, to listen to your alien talk, to make you laugh when you feel down, to make you burritos at 3 in the morning, to keep you warm when you are sick. Because I love you, and I promise to never stop loving you." he ended with a small smile._

_His words nearly killed me. I did not know how I could possibly top that._

_"Mark, these past eight years together has been an amazing adventure. You were there for the good memories, and there for the bad ones. You never let go of me even when I wanted to let go of myself. Without you, I will be lost, struggling to find my missing piece. I love you so much, but you already know that. So the only thing that is left for us is to spent the rest of our lives together until we grow old and to continue having adventures together."_

_Both of us were close to tears. I could not believe this was happening to us, to me._

_"By the power vested in me, I pronounce you man and man. You may kiss," the officiant said and we did not hesitate to join our lips together._

_Everybody began clapping and cheering. Once we broke the kiss, we both walked up the aisle, united as one._

In the end, nothing changes.

You will be called names.

You will be kicked to the ground.

Your clean canvas will be dirty.

It might be ugly at first, but you will find a way to make it beautiful.

Someone will make it beautiful.

_Our reception was in full blast. Everybody was on a deck at an outdoor venue. The air was slightly cool. The whole gathering has light up sparklers, waving it in the air._

_Somebody found a bottle of champagne and started spraying it in the crowd, dousing us in the sweet alcohol. Mark was beside me the whole time, laughing and smiling._

_Looking happier than ever._

_"You want to cut our wedding cake?" he asked me while I avoided being burned by another sparkler._

_I nodded my head and he dragged me to a table. A simple cake was on it, with the words “same love” printed with cursive._

_Everybody was observing us while we were in our own little world. Mark grabbed a knife that was ready and guided my hand over his. We cut the cake and produced two thick slices._

_"Feed him Mark!" a voice from the crowds shouted._

_He gave me a smirk before smearing the slice of cake all over my mouth. I returned the favour and in the end, we had cake all over our faces. Everybody was laughing at us, absorbing our happiness._

_Music started playing through the speakers. Mark began dancing and everybody joined in. He pulled me closer to him and we began dancing together._

_This reminded me of that party where I was dancing with the bunch of strangers._

_Except this time, I am not alone._

_I never will be._

And that person will never leave you alone.

Not even when people call you names.

Not even when you feel ugly and fat.

Not even when the both of you scream at each other.

Because they have fought a battle for you.

They won.

You won.

Love won.

_The bright light was blinding my vision. I blink repeatedly, trying to get rid of the white spots._

_I was in an uncomfortable position, stiff and unnatural on this hospital bed._

_It was almost too cold, except for the touch on my hands that kept me warm._

_He refused to leave my side, even after all these years._

_Even when I am on my last breaths._

_My eyes adjusted and focused on his figure. The white hair, sagging skin, wrinkles and the pot belly emerged in front of me. Yet, he is still the most beautiful person I ever seen._

_“Hello Tommy,” our fingers were wrapped around each other, simple silver bands glistening in the light._

_“Hello Marky.”_

Love always win.

For love is patient.

Love is kind.


End file.
